


I'm Falling to Pieces

by MargotSails



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Drug Use, F/F, Sex, Violence, but its not all angst, there is light at the end of the tunnel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargotSails/pseuds/MargotSails
Summary: An amazing job opportunity for Maggie leads to the end of her relationship with Alex. Knowing that long distance relationships never work, Alex and Maggie both decide its best to end it. But as Maggie flourishes at her new job and city. A discovery pushes Alex down a dark and destructive path.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been four months since the end of her relationship. Since they had decided it was best to end it before Maggie took a job in New York. Alex had mostly gone along with it because she didn’t want to be the one to take such an amazing opportunity away from Maggie. She couldn’t handle the thought of Maggie resenting her. So, she had pretended it was a good idea to put their relationship on hold because “long distance never works.” Like they had meant nothing, they took off their rings and said goodbye, all while Alex’s heart was shattering.

From what Alex could gather from stalking Maggie through social media and some other not so legal means, Maggie was flourishing in her new life. Her vast knowledge of aliens and her innate instincts meant she was already in line for a promotion. The fastest one for anyone in her new precinct apparently.

For Alex however, everything was falling apart around her. A month after Maggie left, Alex had been called to a scene. It had been a mass grave of sorts. Human bodies, as well as alien bodies all, discarded like someone's garbage. Among the bodies had been Jeremiah Danvers. The autopsy and tests had determined he had been dead since a couple of days after Alex had infiltrated the Cadmus facility. She knew without a doubt she was the reason they had killed him. Most of the bodies had signs of experimentation and he was no exception. His “bionic” arm had been missing and there were signs of failed attempts to turn him into another Hank Henshaw.

She had been able to convince Kara and the others not to contact Maggie. Convince them that she wasn’t completely broken. She now simply spent most of her time alone in her apartment, in the dark, drunk out of her mind. At this point, the only time she wasn’t drunk was at work. She had finally gotten used to an ever-present headache.

The very same as the one she was sporting now. She was pretending to be diligently going over the file in front of her when in reality, she was fighting down the nausea turning her stomach.

“Are you still with us agent Danvers?” J’onn asked, his tone brusque and annoyed.

Alex straightened, trying not to wince, “Yes, sir.”

She had decided to get out of her apartment last night, ending up in some bar she had never been to before. She didn’t remember much after arriving. But she remembers very vividly waking up in an unfamiliar apartment next to a very curvy blonde. It didn’t take her long to deduce what had happened the night before. It had taken her ten minutes to find her clothes and slink out of the apartment, blessedly undetected by the still sleeping blonde. If Kara had noticed that Alex was wearing the same clothes as the day before, she had kept it to herself.

“Everyone be careful out there. These guys are unpredictable and won’t hesitate to kill,” J’onn was saying as Alex tuned back into the conversation. “Any questions?” he asked looking pointedly at Alex.

“No, sir,” the group answered together.

After grabbing their gear everyone loaded into the SUV’s and they were on their way. Alex avoided J'onn’s gaze by needlessly rechecking her gear for the fourth time.

It was a short ride to their destination and Supergirl was already on site, hovering above the target building gathering what intel she could for the strike team.

“There are at least thirty targets in the building. All armed,” Supergirl announced over the coms. “They have prisoners locked in a room in the back. I can count fifteen but there may be more. They're packed awfully tight in there.”

“We read you Supergirl. Wait for my word,” J’onn instructed, before turning and commanding the others.

Alex stood toward the back, willing the shaking in her hands to go away. She had been doing this job long enough to know the shaking wasn’t from nerves. She needed a drink.

Alex knew her job by heart so she just instinctively fell into place at the door. Always one of the first to breach. As J’onn gave the word they all rushed forward yelling for the suspects to drop their weapons. Of course, that didn’t happen and all hell broke loose. Alex raised her gun and easily took out three men standing the closest to her.

She saw two of her own go down but ignored it and advanced further into the building. She could see Kara to her left easily handling the ones brave enough to go against Supergirl. Alex’s attention was drawn to five men standing off to the side talking before they finally took off toward the back of the building. The prisoners.

Alex had seen it before. Killing all the prisoners because a dead prisoner can’t talk. Alex looked around for backup, but everyone was preoccupied. It was against protocol, but she made an executive decision and pursued without telling anyone what she was doing.

She stayed low and moved quickly. When she caught up to them they were standing outside a door that looked like a giant bank vault. There was a big panel on the outside that one of the men was punching a sequence of numbers into.

“DEO, Freeze!” she yelled, exposing herself.

Without hesitation, the men turned and fired on her. She fired too and took down two of the men but she was knocked back by a hit to her bulletproof vest. Experience and the adrenaline kept her on her feet and she kept shooting, finally taking out one more. Leaving just the two, before she dived for cover behind a large shipping crate. Focusing in on the sounds of the suspects she could hear one moving closer to her position, while electronic beeps filled the air as the other man continued his own task.

Controlling her breathing she tried to judge how close her pursuer was. Going by instinct she jumped up, her gun aimed and pulled the trigger. However, she had misjudged and the man had time to fire two shots before she adjusted and fired again. She felt a bullet rip through her shoulder and another just below her vest at her hip.

She cried out in, the pain intense, but she still had work to do. Using the adrenaline and pure rage at being shot, she advanced on the man, “Turn around and get on the ground,” she managed to get out through gritted teeth.

The man froze and raised his arms turning slowly, “You’re too late,” he smirked and then with an impressive speed he pulled a gun from his belt and shot himself in the head. Alex barely flinched.

Fighting to keep her feet she rushed to the door. She could hear what sounded like high pressured air and as she looked around she noticed pipes going into the room holding the prisoners, on the ceiling, “Kara I need you in the back. Hurry,” she called over the coms.

The edges of her vision were starting to darken and she could feel herself fading. Knowing she needed to get out of the way before she passed out she moved against the wall.

“Alex!” Kara’s panicked voice filled the room.

“He’s poisoning them,” Alex was barely able to get out.

Kara looked at the door, “Hold on, I’ll be back.”

Alex doesn’t know if she responded. She’s suddenly on the floor and the sounds of Kara straining are just faint echoes in her mind. She vaguely aware of someone cradling her before everything fades away.

* * *

 

There was a beeping sound that just wouldn’t stop and it was driving Alex insane. She keeps trying to complain but nothing is happening. She can’t open her eyes, she can’t talk.

She does eventually get her eyes to open. The light is blinding and she can only manage a moan in protest.

“Alex?” its Kara's voice and thankfully the light is dimmed and she manages to fully open her eyes.

“Why won’t the beeping stop?” Alex manages to grate out through her raw throat.

“We need to get a reading on your vitals and then we’ll turn it off,” an unfamiliar voice says. Then after a few minutes, the beeping is finally gone.

“Where am I?” Alex was finally able to focus on Kara who was leaning over her, a worried expression, marring her features.

“You’re in the DEO med bay. You were shot,” Kara’s voice faltered on the word. She looked away, but not before Alex saw the tears.

“I’m OK. It doesn’t even hurt.”

“That’s because you're full of pain meds,” Eliza Danvers pointed out as she entered the room.

“What happened?” Alex asked no one in particular. She couldn’t quite remember. But as Kara explained what happened it all came flooding back, “Did the prisoners make it?” she interrupted.

Kara hesitated before finally shaking her head, “The poison they were pumping in worked too fast. They were gone before I got the door open.”

More people she couldn’t save. Alex closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay, not wanting to cry in front of Kara and her mom.

“It wasn’t your fault Alex,” Kara tried to comfort her, holding her hand.

But the words meant nothing when Alex knew the truth.

* * *

 

Everything hurt. Alex was finally at home after two days in the med bay. She had lucked out and both bullets hadn’t hit anything major. Even the shot to her hip had been high enough to not cause any permanent damage. The only reason she had stayed in the med bay so long was she lost a lot of blood and she had problems with her blood pressure.

She had been home for only a couple of hours and Kara had been hovering the whole time. Asking every couple of minutes if she was OK or if she needed anything. And Alex loved her for it but she just wanted to be left alone.

“Kara?”

Kara looked up from where she was fussing with getting the pillows laying around Alex just right, “Yeah?”

“I know you have other things to be doing.” When Kara started to interrupt she beat her to it, “I’m just going to sleep. I’ll be OK.” She smiled as Kara looked contemplative.

“You’re just going to sleep?”

“Yes.”

After another couple of minutes, Kara seemed to come to a decision, “I can be right back here if you need me. Call me when you wake up though. OK?”

“Yeah, I will,” Alex promised and then after several more minutes of fussing from Kara and a gentle hug. Kara was gone and Alex was finally alone.

Everything hurt. Not just physically. She lay on the bed, images flashing through her mind of all the people she had failed. Maggie, her father, the faceless people she hadn’t been able to save. J’onn for not being a good enough agent. She needed a drink. She knew that mixing pain meds and alcohol was stupid, but she just didn’t remotely care.

It took her nearly ten minutes just to make her way to the kitchen and back to her bed with her glass. Even though it wasn’t time yet she shook out two pills into her palm and popped them into her mouth before she could think too hard about it.

The ringing of the phone pulled her out of a deep sleep. She wasn’t sure how long she slept, but the apartment was completely dark except for the light from her phone. Squinting at the blinding screen she gave up on trying to see who it was and answered, “Danvers.”

“Hey, it's me.” It was Maggie.

“Hey, what’s going on?” They had shared several phone conversations but they were starting to become less frequent. Distancing her from Maggie even more.

“James called me and told me what happened.”

Alex rolled her eyes. Of course, “Yeah, I’m home now. Everything's good,” she was saying the words and wasn’t convinced.

“You sound strange,” Maggie had always been too observant.

“I just woke up. And the painkillers really pack a punch.”

“Is Kara with you? You shouldn’t be alone.”

The concern she could hear in Maggie’s voice hurt. She didn’t deserve it, “I’m supposed to call her now that I’m awake.”

There was silence on the line before, “I worry about you, Alex.”

“I know you do. I promise I’m OK.” She wasn’t. But she had become very good at keeping others from knowing that.

“I don’t believe you.”

The words caused an irrational flash of anger to course through her body, “It doesn't really matter does it, Maggie. You’re not a part of my life anymore, are you?” The words were harsh and she almost instantly regretted them, but there was truth to them.

Maggie was silent again but Alex could still hear her breathing. After a considerable amount of time, Maggie quietly spoke. “You’re right. Sorry to bother you. Take care of yourself, Danvers,” and then she was gone.

Alex threw the phone across the room, angry at herself. And then cried out as pain coursed through her body from her wounds. And of course, that was the exact moment that Kara flew in through the open balcony door.

She was at Alex’s side in a flash, “Hey, hey, it’s OK.” She helped Alex calm down. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Maggie called and I was a bitch to her,” Alex got out between deep breaths to control the pain. It finally eased. “James told her about what happened, so she was calling to check on me.”

“Why were you a bitch?” Kara asked, getting right to the point.

Alex laughed humorlessly, “Because I am one.”

Alex knew she was entering a new stage of self-loathing. She had become an expert at self-loathing as a child whenever she wasn’t quite good enough at protecting Kara or her secret. Whenever she couldn't quite understand a subject or project in school. The major difference now was she just didn’t care. She was a screw-up and would always be a screw-up, so why even care anymore. The acceptance of one's failure at life was easier than expected.


	2. Chapter 2

Nearly a month later, Alex was already back to work. J’onn and Kara had both pointed out it was too soon, but she had passed all the tests and was allowed back to full duty.

Nobody needed to know that she was barely sleeping. That she was barely functional unless she had at least five glasses of bourbon in her. When she was on duty she tried not to drink as much but it was becoming more difficult not to go to that bottle she had hidden in a random closet in an area of the DEO very few people frequented.

“Are you OK?” Winn asked as he passed a tablet off to Alex.

“Yeah,” Alex answered, even though she was drenched in sweat and her hands were visibly shaking. Winn didn’t look convinced but didn’t push. He was still talking but she wasn’t listening.

The night before Alex had gone out to a random bar and gotten drunk enough to go home with some woman whose name she’ll never know. She didn’t really go out looking for sex, just anyway to keep her mind off herself and her life. She had been late and shown up in the same clothes for the fifth times since coming back to work. Nobody had said anything, but she knew it was coming.

“Are you even listening to me?” Winn’s voice cuts into her thoughts.

“Yes. I’ll be right back,” she pushed the tablet back into his hands and rushed off in the direction of her closet. She was lucky and the hall was empty and she quickly found her bottle and downed a large gulp, nearly choking from the burn.

Alex had skated the edges of alcohol abuse in college before J’onn had entered her life. It had gotten bad back then, but she rarely lost control and hadn’t been dependent on it to function. She knew this time she had already passed that line. She could get it back under control. She just needed to keep everyone from finding out about it. Just another part of her life she was failing at.

After several more drinks from the bottle, she started to feel more in control. She hid the bottle back in its spot and popped several pieces of minty gum in her mouth and went back to work.

That night she was supposed to go to Kara’s for a game night but knew she wouldn’t be able to handle the perkiness of her friends. She didn’t want to bring the group down.

She ended up at yet another bar drinking in a dark booth toward the back. It was only seven in the evening but Alex was already pleasantly drunk. But if she was truthful she had been drunk all day.

Despite the relatively early hour, the crowd was already loud, as well as the music. There was a nice mixture of humans and aliens. Ever since she walked in the door she had felt eyes on her. Those eyes happened to belong to a very attractive alien sitting at the bar with her friends. She had seen her type before, but her fuzzy brain made it difficult to place the name.

It didn’t take long for her to work her way over to Alex, casually sliding into the seat across from her, “It's never a good sign when a beautiful woman is drinking alone.”

“It's never a good sign when someone is in a bar at 7 o'clock trolling for someone to fuck,” Alex countered bluntly.

A smile, “Touché.” After a brief stare off, “What are my chances here?”

Alex jumped at the feeling of what she assumed was a foot caressing up her leg, “They’re getting better.”

The stranger smirked as her foot found its mark, “I’m Zatara. I think we should get out of here.”

Alex thought about it for only a few seconds before slamming back the rest of her drink and standing, “Let's go.”

The night ended up being very interesting. It had been Alex’s first sexual experience with a non-human. It had been acrobatic, to say the least. With a slight limp Alex was on her way home. She had stopped at a nearby liquor store and bought the strongest drink she could find. When she made it home she didn’t even bother turning on a light, flopped down on the couch and opened the bottle, barely grimacing at the burn.

* * *

 

“Where is your head at agent?” J’onn yelled at Alex.

“It was an honest mistake,” Alex yelled back. They were standing at the command center at the DEO, all the surrounding agents frozen at their raised voices.

“You almost got yourself killed. Your actions almost got your whole team killed.”

Alex scoffed, “You’re being dramatic.”

“You’re suspended. Get your stuff and leave.”

“On what grounds?” Alex was furious.

“Insubordination for starters. And if you can’t see how dangerous your actions were out there, then I can’t trust you. I won’t tell you again. Get your stuff and go.”

She started removing all the armor she was still wearing from the mission and threw it on the ground at her feet. There were set rules about how you handled your equipment. Alex knew she was acting childish but didn’t care. It was all just so ridiculous.

As she turned to leave she almost ran into Kara, who had been standing behind her, “Alex,” Kara started.

“Not now,” Alex brushed her off, moving angrily toward the locker room. She grabbed her bag, not even bothering to change out of her DEO uniform.

Once Alex was out of the building she didn’t know what to do with herself. Checking her watch, she pulled out her phone, “Are you free? Yeah, I’m going to need a little help. OK meet me at my place in thirty.”

Alex was only home long enough to change out of her work clothes before the doorbell rang. She opened the door to a young punk with a bright green mohawk. Well, young was a relative term she was only 8 years younger than Alex.

“This is a weird time for you to be calling,” she commented looking around the apartment, “Nice place.”

“Thanks,” Alex said off handedly, watching the woman move around, not really fitting in with the surroundings.

Wordlessly she kneeled by the coffee table and started arranging things on the table. She dumped out the light green substance from a little baggie and arranged it into six neat lines. She snorted three of the lines shivering as the substance entered her system. Smiling she handed the straw to Alex who kneeled and snorted the remaining lines, shivering herself.

She pulled herself up and sat on the couch, the powder already relaxing her. Through half lidded eyes, she saw the other woman eyeing her hungrily. Alex smirked as she undid her pants, crooking a finger.

The woman smiled and crawled forward, brushing her cheeks against the insides of Alex’s spread legs like a content puppy. Alex grabbed her hair and pulled her forward, catching her mouth in a rough and hungry kiss, losing herself in the moment.

* * *

 

Kara had wanted to check on Alex earlier but rogue aliens causing chaos all over the city had kept her busy all day. The few calls she had managed to make had gone unanswered. As soon as they had finally arrested the suspects and she had had time to change out of her Supergirl suit she was on her way to Alex’s apartment.

After her knocks went unanswered, Kara used her key to let herself in. The apartment was dark but she had no problem seeing the paraphernalia on the table in front of the couch and her heart sank. She flipped the switch on the wall, flooding the apartment with light. Neither one of the figures on the bed moved.

Kara took in the scene in front her of her. Alex was splayed on her back, her jeans undone and her shirt was pushed up over her breast. A naked woman lay by her right side, her leg slung over Alex’s.

“Alex,” Kara said loudly. This time both women startled awake.

“What the hell?” the stranger muttered as she looked around confusedly.

“You need to get out,” Kara threw the woman’s clothes at her with more force than was really necessary. Slightly delighting in the grunt of pain the impact caused.

“I’m going. I’m going,” the woman stumbled around putting on her clothes.

While all this was happening, Alex had adjusted her clothes and was sitting on the bed against the headboard with her knees drawn to her chest. She looked slightly out of it.

“Hey,” Kara stopped the woman before she could leave. “What did you two take?”

“Just some Haedrid powder.”

Kara had heard of the new alien drug but wasn’t familiar with it at all. The woman left without another word. Kara turned her attention to Alex.

“What the hell are you doing Alex? How old is she?”

Alex flinched at the volume of Kara’s voice, “She’s older than she looks.”

“What’s going on with you? Drugs Alex,” Kara was pacing not knowing how to handle her worry and anger. “How long has this been going on?”

Alex shrugged, “A couple of months.”

“Have you been high at work?” Kara’s mind flashed to the uncharacteristic mistakes that had led to Alex’s suspension just that morning.

“No, not high,” was Alex’s answer.

Kara was relieved but then as she looked around the apartment at the surprising amount of empty alcohol containers littering the kitchen counter and bedside table, her blood turned cold, “Alex, no.”

Kara knew that Alex sometimes partied too hard in college. Surely Kara hadn’t missed it. Alex had been keeping to herself lately. Begging off any after work activity that Kara suggested. She had written it off as Alex still recovering from her injuries.

But as she took in the haggard woman curled in on herself in front of her, she knew it was obvious it was so much worse than that.

“We’re going to talk about this. But I have a feeling if we do it now, you won’t remember any of it,” she moved to the side of the bed, “Lay down.”

Alex did as told without comment.

Kara tucked Alex in and shook her head as Alex was immediately asleep. Kara simply stood looking down at Alex. The strongest woman she knew. The most important person in her life and she had let her down. Alex had been hurting and Kara had been oblivious.

With tears on her cheeks, she leaned down and placed a kiss on Alex’s head, “I am so sorry. I will fix this.”


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Maggie yawned and took a sip from her fifth cup of coffee of the day. Despite the late hour, or early hour depending on how you looked at it. The precinct was still bustling with activity. Maggie had been thrilled with her promotion, but with the promotion had come nearly quadruple the paper work. Along with the promotion also came a tiny little office toward the back of the precinct. However, there was little privacy as the front wall was made completely of glass and that glass had little to no soundproofing, so she could hear all the noise from the main room.  
The lack of noise from said room is what caused Maggie to look up.

There standing in the middle of the frozen chaos in all her bright blue glory was Supergirl.

Standing quickly Maggie rushed to her door. A feeling of dread washed through her body. She knew Kara wouldn’t show up unannounced for any good reasons, “Supergirl,” Maggie’s voice is loud in the quiet room. Kara’s usual fluorescent smile is absent.

“I’m sorry to just show up,” Kara apologized once they were seated at Maggie's small desk.

“What’s happened? Is Alex OK?” Maggie couldn’t keep the worry out of her tone. The look that crossed Kara’s features didn’t ease Maggie’s worries.

“She’s OK physically, but,” Kara wiped at a tear on her cheek.

“It’s OK Kara, tell me.”

Kara told her about the disastrous mission and it was hard to think of Alex doing something so, careless to endanger her team.

“And last night when I went to check on her…,” she paused shaking her head. “I found her in bed with some young girl with a green mohawk.”

Maggie had to bite down a moan, from the pain the words caused. Even though she was mostly responsible for the breakdown of her relationship the thought of Alex with someone else physically hurt.

“There were drugs on the coffee table,” Kara continued, oblivious to Maggie's pain.

Maggie’s blood turned cold, “Alex used them?”

Kara nodded, more tears streaking her cheeks, “The apartment was full of empty liquor bottles. She more or less confessed to drinking at work.” Kara looked helplessly at Maggie, “How did I not know?”

Trying to think of this as information about a suspect and not about her family Maggie questioned, “Has Alex ever used before?” Maggie knew that Alex had told her once when they were learning about each other that she had never done anything other than smoking a couple of joints.

“Nothing more than a couple of joints in college, and she told me it made her sick.”

“I never saw her drink to excess. I mean she drinks a little too much when she’s upset,” Maggie couldn’t wrap her brain around what Kara was saying. “What was it they took?” she finally asked afraid of the answer.

“The mohawk girl said it was Haedrid Powder. I’ve heard of it, but don’t really know anything about it.”

Haedrid Powder was a new alien street drug. It was potent stuff and Maggie had seen the results of abuse of the drug many times and it wasn’t pretty, “It's still a relatively new drug. We don’t know exactly how it works or where it came from even. But there’s already been a number of deaths linked to it.”

There’s a long silence, both women lost in their own thoughts before Kara says, “I don’t know how to fix this. How did I not know?” She’s out right crying now.

“We both know how well Alex is at hiding away her emotions.”

“We found Jeremiah dead, not long after you left. She told me not to tell you.”

The words were another slap to the face. She could still remember the feel of Alex sobbing in her arms after Jeremiah had shown his true colors after magically appearing back in her life. And the determination Alex had to find him once she found out he wasn’t completely bad.

“We need a plan,” Maggie finally spoke. “We can’t let her keep going like this.”

* * *

 

Alex was a little wobbly on her feet and sporting a black eye from the jealous boyfriend of a woman who had decided Alex was more interesting company. He would never have gotten a punch in if she hadn’t been so drunk, but as it was she had a black eye and some sore ribs but he had a broken nose and some bruised balls. She chuckled to herself as she tried to get her key into the door. It was several tries before she finally got it open.

As the door swung open she was surprised to see Kara standing just inside. She hadn’t talked to Kara since the day before when she had discovered Alex in a compromising position. It had been a major low point in Alex’s life and she had been trying not to think about it.

“Hey,” Alex tried to hide just how drunk she was but knew the fact she missed the table beside her when she tried to put her keys on it, didn’t help her case any. She ignored it hoping Kara wouldn’t notice but when her eyes moved to the floor she knew she had failed.

“What happened to your face?” were the first words out of Kara’s mouth.

“A little disagreement.” A movement to her left drew Alex’s attention toward the couch. Maggie, Winn, James, and J’onn all sat watching her. She had been so focused on Kara she hadn’t even noticed them. “Oh look, the whole gang's here.” Alex’s heart gave a lurch at seeing Maggie. She looked amazing despite the look of pure disappointment on her face.

Maggie briskly walked up to Alex and yanked her bag off her shoulder, and wordlessly started searching it. Alex didn’t bother saying anything. Despite her fuzzy brain, she knew what was happening. It was apparently time for mission save Alex the screw-up.

Alex went to the fridge surprised they hadn’t removed the beers yet. She grabbed one and leaned against the counter, popped open the beer, drinking down half the bottle in one go, “Did you find what you were looking for?”

Maggie didn’t find anything in the bag. She looked at Alex and demanded, “Empty your pockets.”

Alex sighed, “I don’t have anything on me.” Maggie didn’t seem to believe her. So, she stepped forward and spread her arms and legs wide. Alex takes slight pride in Maggie's irritated expression as she walks around the counter and pats Alex down, like some perp she was arresting. Finally, seemingly sure Alex wasn’t hiding anything Maggie went and stood beside Kara. Both looking stern with their arms folded.

“How can we help you, Alex?” Kara asked finally after a brief standoff.

“I love you all,” Alex started, speaking honestly. “But there’s nothing you can do.” She shrugged.

“I don’t believe that,” Maggie joined in.

“It's true. I am un-helpable,” she was pretty sure that wasn’t a word. “Go on with your lives and just let me be.” She took another hearty swig of her beer and finished it off. She wanted to get another but figured that was probably a bad idea.

“We’re not just going to sit and watch you destroy yourself, Alex,” Winn had decided to speak up.

“Seriously guys, I don’t want your pity.”

“We aren’t pitying you, Alex,” Kara stated. “We’re worried. This isn’t like you. I know it's been hard lately. But destroying your life isn’t the answer.”

Alex Briskly rubbed her hands over her face, she just wanted to go to bed, “I’m tired guys. I’m tired physically. I’m tired emotionally and I just want to not think about things sometimes. So, I drink or maybe do something stronger. But guess what?” She turned and grabbed another beer from the fridge and popped the top and took a drink, “I’m an adult,” she continued.

Before she could say anymore Maggie marched around the counter and yanked the bottle out of Alex’s hand and threw it into the sink, the bottle shattering. Alex did even flinch, she just met Maggie's gaze as they stood toe to toe, faces only inches apart.

“You have five people here who love you and want you to be happy.”

Alex scoffed, “You left me,” Alex shouted, her anger finally breaking free. “And they didn’t even know anything was wrong until Kara decided to open her big mouth because she always needs someone to save.” She went to the door and grabbed her bag and keys, “I don’t want to be saved.” With that, she stormed out of her own apartment.

* * *

 

“Well, that went well,” Winn said into the silent room.

“She’s hurting,” J’onn spoke from his spot on the sofa. “I was listening to her thoughts. I thought it was warranted in this case. She’s blaming herself for everything.” He stood and moved closer to the others, “She blames herself for the breakup and for Jeremiah. Even those prisoners we lost when she was injured.”

“None of those were her fault though,” James said from where he had been watching everything unfold. “I don’t understand why she would think like that.”

“She’s never felt good enough,” Maggie pointed out. “I think so many things happening at once has just been too much.”

“What are we going to do?” Kara’s voice is small. “We can’t just give up.”

“We’re not going to,” Maggie said with determination. She yanked open the refrigerator door and pulled out all the beers and started pouring them down the drain, “We’re going to do this the old-fashioned way. Find all her hiding spots.”

With those words, everyone set about searching and cleaning out. With Kara’s x-ray vision, they had the job done in no time.

By the time Alex stumbled back through the door hours later they had worked out a plan.

“You're still here?” Alex’s words were slurred and she was swaying on her feet.

Kara and Maggie had gotten the first shift, “We just wanted to make sure you got home OK,” Kara soothed. “You look exhausted, how about I help you get ready for bed.”

Alex simply nodded and headed toward the bed. Kara helped her remove her coat and boots and tucked her in after she climbed on the bed.

“You can’t save me,” Alex mumbled. “I don’t deserve it. I’m broke,” her voice trailed off as she faded into sleep.

“This isn’t going to be pretty,” Maggie warned as Kara dropped onto the couch beside her.

“I know. But I’m ready.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Alex groaned as the brightness from the apartment's windows finally penetrated her sleep. It took her several minutes to realize she could hear talking. Setting up she was confronted by Kara and Maggie on the sofa with their heads together going over some papers on the coffee table in front of them.

“Why are you still here?” Alex’s voice was hoarse.

“Oh hey,” Kara said way too cheerfully. “We’re first shift.”

“Am I supposed to know what that means?” Alex asked as she stood and made her way to the bathroom. She stopped short when she noticed her door was gone and it was replaced by a curtain. “Where the hell is my door?”

“We took it out,” Maggie said calmly.

“I see that,” Alex said annoyed. “But why?”

“Go ahead and use the restroom and we’ll explain how this is going to work.”

Alex wanted to ask more but couldn’t hold off nature’s call so she yanked the curtain closed and took care of business. When she was done she sat on the sofa and was handed some water and 2 pills. She popped the pills into her mouth and washed them down, “You gonna explain where my door is now?”

Kara turned and faced Alex with a serious expression, “I let you down. I should have seen how much your suffering. I should have been there for you. No,” she held up a hand when Alex started to talk. “Just listen. We aren’t going to leave you to go through this by yourself. And we’re not going to sit around and let you drink yourself to death,” Kara’s voice broke.

“From now on you’re not going to be alone. Either me or Kara or the guys will be with you at all times,” Maggie picked up the conversation. “There will be no drinking or drugs or any women. You're going to concentrate only on yourself and healing.”

“Do I not have any say in this?” Alex asked, sarcastically even though deep down, for the first time in a while, she felt hope.

“No,” Maggie answered matter of factly. “You’ve more than proved you’re not in the frame of mind to make good decisions.”

Alex couldn’t argue with that. Maggie kept talking, explaining what she wouldn’t be allowed to do. She explained they had cleared out the apartment of any harmful substances.

Alex was relieved, that the responsibility to get better had been taken away from her. She knew with certainty that she wouldn't have done it herself. And with the path she was heading down, she’s not sure how long she would have lasted.

“You’re going to start going to meetings and when you’re ready, I would like you to start seeing a therapist,” Kara added.

They finally stopped talking and seemed to be waiting for Alex to say something.

“OK.”

* * *

 

For two weeks Alex hadn’t been alone and if she was being honest with herself she hadn’t minded. The withdrawals had hit hard and it had been rough going for a while and she had yelled and cussed at whoever had been assigned to be her babysitter. Most of the things she could remember saying she regretted now, but everyone had been nothing but supportive. She hadn’t even wanted a drink for days now which was a new feeling.

On Monday, she had had her first meeting with her therapist. She had surprised herself with how much she had been willing to share with Dr. Warrish. A tiny little man with a shiny bald head and huge glasses.

She had just gotten back to the apartment after a session and Maggie had just taken over for James. She had spent several hours with Maggie over the past two weeks but they hadn't even had a conversation. Maggie had tried but Alex had been unwilling. But now that she was feeling more like herself Alex decided to try, “You wanna go for a run?” Alex tried to keep a straight face. Maggie was athletic and had an intense workout regime. But when it came to running, in her own words she “would rather be stabbed in the eye with a spoon.”

Alex couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the severe side eye Maggie sent in her direction.

“You really do like living on the edge don’t you Danvers,” Maggie shook her head.

“What do your new bosses think of all this time you’ve taken off?” Alex had been curious about how she managed to do it.

Maggie chuckled, “They didn’t like it at all, so I quit.”

The words made Alex set up straighter, “What do you mean you quit? That was your dream job.”

Maggie shrugged, “Some things are more important than jobs,” her words were quiet.

“I’m sorry,” Alex apologized, her words just as quiet.

“You have nothing to apologize for. It was my decision to make,” she smiled. “NCPD was very happy to take me back. I start whenever I’m ready.”

Alex’s body warmed, that meant Maggie would be back for good, “Where are you going to live?” she found herself asking without really meaning to.

“I’m actually staying with James. Just until I can find something else.”

“Oh, good,” Alex was very happy.

* * *

 

“How early is too early to ask Maggie out?” Alex asked Dr. Warrish a month later. While she knew she wasn’t “cured” she was feeling like a new person. She had reconnected with her friends and Kara. They had even re-established game night. She had even been deemed suitable to not have a 24-hour babysitter. The first couple of days without someone with her had been lonely, but it had also felt like an accomplishment to be able to be on her own and remain sober.

“Do you think Maggie wants to be asked?” Dr. Warrish broke into her thoughts.

Alex thought for a minute, “I don’t know. But she’s started looking at me like she used to, instead of looking at me with pity.”

“Only you know when you’re ready,” Dr. Warrish pointed out. “Just remember that neither one of you are the same people you were.”

With the doctor's words still playing in her head, Alex entered Kara’s apartment where the others were already sitting around the table, Chinese takeout boxes being passed around. Everyone shouted in greeting when they saw her. The whole meal was filled with joking and laughter. Alex’s heart was alight with joy.

After dinner, Alex got Maggie’s attention, “Can we talk outside for a minute?”

“Sure,” Maggie agreed immediately.

Once outside, Alex tried to get her nerves under control.

“Is everything OK?” Maggie’s words were laced with worry.

“Yeah,” Alex answered. “I’m just nervous.”

Seeing nothing but patience and caring in her gaze Alex took the plunge, “I’m not asking right now, but if sometime in the near future I wanted to ask you out, how would you feel about that?”

Maggie smiled and Alex relaxed.

“I’m not totally against it,” her face turned serious then. “You were with other women Alex, some you don’t even remember.”

“I’ve been tested,” Alex interrupted. “Not to sound too cocky, but when I started thinking maybe I wanted to try and get you back, I went and got all the tests done. I’m clean.”

Maggie’s smile returned, “That is pretty cocky,” she teased.

Alex blushed.

“I look forward to you asking,” and with that Maggie turned and walked back into the apartment.

Before Alex could enter, the door opened again and J’onn stepped out, “Are you leaving?” Alex asked.

“Yes, I need to go check on some things at the office.”

Alex chuckled, “I’m glad you made it.” During her recovery, J’onn had been a silent support.

“Have you thought about returning to work?” J’onn asked out of nowhere.

Alex subconsciously stood up straighter, “I have thought about it. I would very much like to return, but I wasn’t sure I would be welcomed.”

“As soon as you're ready and your therapist approves, we’ll get you back into the action.”

“Thank you so much sir,” Alex couldn’t help herself and pulled J’onn into a hug.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates may slow down. I have decided to add a bit to this. I just wasn't feeling what I had planned the ending to be.

The bar is too loud and too hot. The smell of sweat and desperation is heavy in the air. People and aliens clamoring for each other’s attention, looking for someone to fuck. Someone to make them forget about their worries, just for a little bit.

Alex’s sole focus is on the glass of bourbon sitting on the sticky bar in front of her. It had been weeks since she had even wanted to pick up a drink. But that morning when she woke up. It was all she could think about. She had gone for a run to try and “rewire” her brain. Telling herself over and over that she didn’t want or need a drink.

She thought it had worked because when she got home she felt good. She had showered and started to get ready for her standing lunch date with Kara and Maggie. Up until the moment, she got on her bike she had every intention of driving to the restaurant, but almost against her will, she found herself driving out of the city. She had driven for nearly two hours before finding the run-down biker bar in the middle of nowhere.

She hadn’t even hesitated as she got off the bike and went in. The nearly over bearing smell of cigarette smoke had been like a slap in the face. It had been emptier then and everyone had turned in her direction. She ignored them and had made her way to the bar. She sat down and ordered a bourbon. That had been three hours ago and it was still sitting there. Taunting her.

A few people had approached her but she had sent them away with a simple dark look. She knew the smart thing to do was to call one of the gang or Dr. Warrish or even someone from the AA meetings. But did she really want to deal with the looks of pity? The judgment.

Even with the thought of how disappointed everyone was going to be floating in her mind she picked up the glass and drank it down.

She nearly choked on the burn of the liquid as it slid down her throat. Even though it hurt she got chills from the familiar pleasure a good drink brought.

“Another,” she ordered as the bartender stepped in front of her.

“I know that look,” a gruff voice beside her spoke.

When she looked to her left she was confronted with the sight of a muscular man covered in tattoos. His huge gray beard was long enough to rest on his barrel chest. He should have been an intimidating sight but his generous smile and kind eyes didn’t allow that.

“I’m not interested in anything your offering,” Alex spat. She was surprised by the hearty laugh coming from the man.

“I assure you. It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?” Alex couldn’t help her curiosity. She downed her second drink and signaled for another before returning her attention to the man.

“Well for starters my name is Justice,” he held out his hand.

Alex took the hand, watching as hers disappeared as it was enveloped by his, “Alex.” She grabbed her next drink, “So?” she prodded.

Justice shook his head, “I know that you don’t want to be here drinking.”

Alex laughed, “Oh yeah, what gives you that idea?” she asked as she downed her fourth glass.

“Because, I’ve been in your shoes many, many times,” Justice commented almost wistfully.

“Looks like you’re still there,” Alex gestured to the beer at his elbow.

“I’ve been clean for thirty years, but today that doesn’t matter.”

Alex frowned, upset that this stranger was throwing away his sobriety, “Why doesn’t it matter?”

“Because I’m going to die today,” he said matter of factly.

“What?” Alex was a little fuzzy already, but she wasn’t drunk. “Why do you think you’re going to die?”

“Oh, that’s far too complicated to explain. But I was supposed to meet you first.”

“You’re not making any sense,” Alex interrupted.

“I know. I’m supposed to give you this,” he handed Alex a card. “If you decide to go, you can’t tell anyone where you’re going. Not even your sister.”

Alex started to interrupt again.

“No, I’m running out of time. Your journey is going to be hard. But you’re strong and you’re smart. You have people who love you. You’ll be Ok.”

Alex tried to talk again but the door to the bar burst open and the sound of gunfire rang through the air. Alex instinctively reached for her guns but of course, they weren’t there. Her gaze met the dark eyes of one of the gunmen and he aimed his gun in her direction.

She saw the muzzle flash and tensed. But she didn’t feel the bullet ripping through her flesh. Instead, she was knocked to the ground by Justice pushing her. She grunted as his weight landed on top of her.

Then with surprising agility Justice was back up returning shots with his own gun. In only seconds the whole ordeal was over and Justice dropped to his knees.

Alex moved to his side as he fell to his back. He had several bullet wounds and Alex knew from the shallow breaths and the blood coating his lips he didn’t have much time left.

“Don’t give up,” was what he said with his last breath.

Alex sat back on her knees covered in blood and in shock. The card still gripped in her fist. The sound of others screaming and the sounds of sobs finally penetrated her brain. She jumped to her feet and set out to help.

* * *

 

“I know she’s relapsed,” Kara said for the 20th time in the last hour.

Alex had been missing for 10 hours now. When she hadn’t shown up for lunch everyone had come to her apartment looking for her. It hadn’t been a surprise when they found the place empty. Her bike had been missing but nothing seemed out of place.

“She was doing so well,” Winn said quietly from his spot on the couch.

Maggie was silently pacing behind the sofa. She hadn’t said much.

“Wait,” Kara said suddenly and rushed to the door, opening it just as Alex stepped up to it.

“Jesus,” Alex yelled jumping back from the opened door. “What the hell Kara?”

“Is that blood?” The front of Alex’s gray shirt is stained a dark brown. Her hands are red with dried blood and there are splatters of it on her face and neck. Kara grabs Alex’s arm and pulls her through the door.

“It’s not mine,” Alex assures everyone.

“What happened?” Maggie finally speaks up.

“I um…,” Alex sighed. “I was in a bar and there were these gunmen. They just came in and shot up the place.

Maggie got the idea that she wasn’t revealing the whole story.

“Why were you in a bar?” Kara asked quietly. Still holding Alex’s arm.

“I was drinking. I’m sorry,” she avoided meeting everyone’s gaze, “I need to shower.” Without another word, she went into the bathroom.

Everyone was silent as they took in everything that just happened. Kara looked at Maggie helplessly.

Ten minutes later Alex came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, drying her hair. Maggie was surprised when she started confessing.

“When I woke up this morning I couldn’t think of anything but getting a drink. I was going to come to lunch but ended up going to some run-down bar in the middle of nowhere. I had four drinks and then all hell broke out and you saw the aftermath.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Kara asked.

“Several reasons,” Alex evaded. She started to move around the room, pulling out her duffle bag and started stuffing some clothes into it.

“What are you doing?” Maggie felt panic.

“I’m going away for a bit. There something I need to check out.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Maggie and Kara said at the same time.

Alex chuckled, “It might not be, but I have to.

“Why?” Kara sounded on the edge of desperation.

Alex stopped what she was doing and pulled Kara to her, “I can’t tell you anything. I don’t particularly understand myself,” she hugged Kara. “I promise to stay in touch, but please don’t track me,” she turned to Winn and pointed, “I’m talking to you.”

Winn adopted a faux-innocent look, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“How long will you be gone?” Maggie asked, knowing they wouldn’t be able to change her mind.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you leaving right now?”

She walked up to Maggie and pulled her into a hug, “Keep an eye on Kara. Don’t let her sulk.” She kissed Maggie on the cheek and moved around the room saying goodbye to everyone.

She finally worked her way back to Kara and pulled her into a tight hug, “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I know it's hard right now, but try to trust me.”

Kara nodded. Tears silently trailing down her cheeks. Alex wiped them away, “I love you.”

And just like that Alex was gone.

* * *

 

After leaving her apartment Alex had rented a car and typed in the address on the card Justice had given her into the navigation. She was shocked to learn she would be going to Georgia.

So, thousands of miles, hours and, gas stations later she found herself pulling up to a giant wooden structure. It appeared to be a compound, of some sort, with several people milling about the yard in front of it.

Running on fumes from having driven for over 24 hours, Alex stepped out of the car. Taking a deep breath, she couldn’t help but smile. The air was so different than in the city. The smell of freshly cut grass had always been a favorite of Alex’s.

When she made it inside she stepped into a lobby of sorts. It was bright and filled with comfortable looking furniture. Several people were spread about, some reading, others drinking coffee and sharing a quiet conversation.

“Can I help you?” an older lady with flowing gray hair walked up. Flanked by two gruff looking men.

“What is this place?” Alex asked, still taking in her surroundings.

“This is private property, Miss,” one of the men said gruffly.

“Justice sent me.” The comment seemed to calm the trio.

“Oh, why didn’t you say so,” the woman smiled. “How is Justice?”

Alex grimaced, “He’s dead,” she said a little more bluntly that she intended to.

“Oh no,” tears sprang to the woman’s eyes. The suddenly they lit up, “Are you Alex?”

Feeling slightly uneasy, Alex wanted to say no and leave, but instead, she simply said, “Yes.’

“I’m so glad he found you.”

“Can you explain to me how he knew about me?”

Syrah was the woman’s name, told of how Justice had been exposed to some sort of alien substance while serving in the army. It had left him with clairvoyant tendencies and he would get visions of what he called his lost souls.

“He helped hundreds in his life,” Syrah finished.

“That doesn’t explain why he sent me here,” Alex pointed out.

“We’re a healing center. We have staff who help with every ailment you can think of. Justice set it up.” She placed a calming hand on Alex’s arm, “We won’t force you to stay. But Justice sent you here for a reason. If you decide to, you can stay as long as you want.”

Something deep down inside of Alex never wanted to leave.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been two long months since they watched Alex walk out the door. Besides short texts, every other day and a handful of Skype calls there had been no contact. Alex’s happy smiling face had been enough to keep Kara from trying to find her. It had been hard.

It was Wednesday which meant dinner night for the gang. They were at Kara’s apartment, loud and laughing like they always were.

Kara had been laughing at something Maggie had said and missed the sound of the door opening.

“Is this a party anyone can join?”

Kara knocked over her chair in her rush to get to Alex. She heard Alex grunt, the air knocked from her lungs by the impact of Kara’s body.

“Easy,” Alex’s voice was muffled by Kara’s shoulder.

Kara eased her hold, “Sorry.”

Kara eventually moved out of the way so the others could welcome Alex back themselves.

After they had finally settled down and moved to the table the questions started, “Where were you?” Kara asked first.

“Georgia.”

“That’s super random,” Winn was the first to reply.

“You have no idea,” Alex chuckled and then told them about the encounter with Justice. “The place was amazing, but I’m not going to say anymore. I’m done with the past and I’m ready to tackle my future,” she rubbed her hands together eyeing the food on the table. “I’m starving.”

Everyone had decided wordlessly to just enjoy the meal and enjoy Alex being back saving the questions for later.

“I’ll walk you home,” Maggie volunteered several hours later when Kara was called away and everyone else was headed home.

“Sure,” Alex agreed without hesitation.

“You seem happy,” Maggie stated once they were walking toward Alex’s apartment.

“I really am.”

“I don’t want to attack you as soon as you get back. But do I still fit into your future?” Maggie sighed and looked at the ground, actually kicking a rock with her hands in her pockets, “I sound so desperate.

Alex laughed and nudged Maggie with her shoulder, “You don’t sound desperate,” she paused her face taking on a serious expression.

Maggie held her breath. Waiting.

“I want you in my life. But will you answer a question for me?”

Maggie relaxed a little. It hadn’t been a flat out no, “Anything.”

“Why was it so easy to leave me?”

“It wasn’t easy!” Maggie practically yelled, drawing a few looks from the other people walking down the street. “I thought this job was the most important thing. Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted to be a cop. And I wanted to go all the way to the top. Anything else would have been a failure,” she stopped. Lost in her own thoughts. “But now the more I think about it. I think it was more wanting to prove my father wrong.”

Alex pulled Maggie toward a bench and they both sat down, “What do you mean?”

“He never wanted me to be a cop. Even though he’s one. I’m sure the danger is part of it, but he always talked about how a woman couldn’t go as far as the men on the job,” she paused again shaking her head. “Now I’m pretty sure he just didn’t want me to go further than him. He’s been stuck at detective for over thirty years. But it’s because he’s lazy and has a bad attitude.”

She looked up and met Alex’s eyes, “It’s like when I got that job offer I just stopped thinking logically. I just had to have it. Had to prove myself, no matter the consequences. I don’t even really understand it myself. I can just hope I haven’t destroyed us with my stupidity.”

Alex smiled softly and squeezed Maggie’s hand, “You haven’t destroyed anything. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She kissed Maggie on the cheek and walked away.

Maggie watched her until she disappeared out of sight. Her cheek tingling.

* * *

 

It had been weeks since Alex’s return and she seemed like her old self. Maybe even a little happier than her old self. She laughed more and to everyone’s surprise, she had started hugging everyone and being more physically affectionate. Something she had always shied away from. Along with all this, there was a new confidence about her. She stood taller and carried herself differently. It was a sight to behold. Definitely when she was back to dressing in her DEO uniform.

She had never said anything else about her time away. And everyone respected her desire not to talk about it. The results were enough to prove it had been a successful journey.

A month after Alex’s return she had asked Maggie to go on a date with her. The answer had been a resounding yes.

* * *

 

“Why are you so nervous?”

Maggie jumped at the sound of James' voice, “I don’t know.” Alex was supposed to pick her up in ten minutes.

“It's just Alex. You have been on dozens of dates with her,” James tried to help.

“I know, but I almost lost all of this and I’m afraid I’m going to screw everything up again”

“Hey, come sit down here,” he patted the seat beside him.

Maggie wiped her sweaty palms on her pants and sat down.

“What Alex went through is not your fault.”

The words caught Maggie off guard. Of course, it was her fault. But she hadn’t said those words aloud to anyone.

“I know you, Maggie. You’re thinking if you had stayed in National City that you could have been there for Alex.”

Maggie nodded.

“That might be true, but Alex is an adult. She made those choices on her own,” he paused causing Maggie to look at him. “But the reason she is doing so much better now is you.”

Maggie started to disagree, but he continued, “She looks at you like you’re everything. She looks at you exactly like she used to.”

She could remember the dark and pained look in Alex’s eyes the first night Kara had brought her back to the city. It had been like looking into the eyes of a stranger. Now when she looked into Alex’s eyes she saw the warmth that had drawn her in and the love she would fight to deserve again.

A knock on the door made her jump.

“Go get her Tiger,” James said with a chuckle.

“It's just Alex,” she whispered to herself, before opening the door. She was met with a brightly smiling Alex.

“Hey,” Alex said cheerily.

Maggie was struck speechless. Alex was decked out in full black, black V-neck shirt, black jeans and her favorite boots. When Maggie’s gaze finally made its way back to Alex’s face, she was smirking.

Maggie just shook her head and rolled her eyes. She had to clear her throat before saying, “You look nice.”

Alex laughed loudly and Maggie loved it.

“I know you said you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant but I planned something a little different. I hope that’s OK.”

“That sounds perfect,” Maggie easily agreed. “Am I dressed OK?” Maggie gestured down at her body.

Alex glanced down at Maggie's boy and the smirk returned, “You look amazing.”

Surprisingly Maggie found herself blushing at the compliment. That was new.

When they were finally outside, Alex stopped beside a shiny red Mercedes convertible. At Maggie's raised brow, she shrugged, “Rental.”

As Maggie was wrapped up in the lusciously comfortable seats she asked, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” was all Alex said as she unnecessarily squealed away from the curb.

The sun felt amazing on Maggie’s face as they rapidly left the city behind them. Long ago Maggie had told Alex that driving with the windows down on a summer evening had always been one of Maggie's favorite things to do. Ever since she was a child. The thoughtfulness of Alex remembering such an off-handed thing brought tears to her eyes. Thankful the car was an automatic Maggie grabbed Alex’s hand and brought it to her lips.

The sound of the wind whipping around them wasn’t conducive to conversation. But the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It had never been. They drove a little over an hour until there was no trace of the city left in the distance.

Soon Alex pulled off onto an unpaved road and after a short distance, a large white structure came into view. As they got closer Maggie could make out a canopy made by strategically draped fabric with a beautifully set table underneath. There were candles and fairy lights everywhere and Maggie knew that when the sun set fully it would be beautiful. There was even an outdoor heater for the coolness that would come with the setting sun. Alex had thought of everything.

“Wow,” Maggie found herself speechless again.

“Having a super-powered sister has its perks,” Alex said with a chuckle. She grabbed Maggie's hand and pulled her into the makeshift tent. The table was filled with all of Maggie's favorites. And surprisingly they were all still steaming. She had no doubts Kara had been here recently. She shook her head amused, “Look like someone’s looking to get laid.”

Alex laughed, “Always.”

It was what Maggie had always said when Alex did romantic things and Alex always gave the same response.

It was as if no time had passed as they ate and joked. Maggie told Alex about her time getting reacquainted with everyone at the NCPD and even stories of while they were apart. Much too soon it was time to head home.

“Don’t worry about clean up. Kara is going to take care of it.”

“So, what do you owe Kara for all this,” Maggie asked once they were back in the car.

“Are you kidding? She loves playing matchmaker,” she paused with a smile. “I do have to give her a play by play at lunch tomorrow.”

Despite the chill of the night, they left the top of the car down, opting to crank up the heat instead. Maggie’s hand once again found Alex’s.

About halfway home Maggie got Alex’s attention, “We should go to your place.”

Alex simply nodded.

“Do you want anything?” Alex asked once they were finally in her apartment.

“No, come lay down with me.” Maggie knew she was being presumptuous, but Alex followed her without hesitation. They lay down on her their sides facing each other, “I wasn’t ready for the night to be over.”

“Me neither,” Alex said quietly.

Sensing Alex’s nervousness, “We don’t have to do anything,” she assured.

Alex smiled, “I thought I would never have this again.”

They moved at the same time, coming together in a rough kiss filled with the passion they had both been missing. The kiss was familiar and yet so different. There was a confidence to Alex’s movements that hadn't been there before. Alex had always been a very attentive lover but there had always been a hesitancy. Not anymore.

Alex moved to straddle Maggie, “You OK,” she asked breathlessly. Her hands moving under Maggie’s shirt, scratching lightly at her abs.

Maggie could only nod as she shivered at the caress.

Pulling lightly at her shirt Alex asked, “Can we take this off?”

At her nod, Alex helped her set up and remove the shirt and her bra. As she laid back down Alex simply sat looking her over for a long time. Just as Maggie started to get nervous Alex spoke.

“I almost forgot how beautiful you are,” Alex’s voice was soft. “And I’m a little in awe.” She leaned forward kissing Maggie deeply, her hands caressing Maggie once again. She couldn’t hold back the moan when Alex shifted placing her thigh exactly where Maggie needed it between her legs.

Alex started placing kisses along Maggie neck and chest moving confidently down Maggie's body.

“Please,” Maggie whimpered as Alex kissed along the waistband of her jeans.

Wordlessly Alex removed Maggie's pants and kissed her way up her thighs. Maggie leaned up slightly when Alex paused. She shivered at the unfamiliar heat in Alex’s gaze. She fell back to the bed with a moan as Alex’s mouth covered her. Alex had been a quick study when it came to sex and Maggie had always been more than satisfied, even if it had been tamer than she was used to.

But this was new and it was amazing. Alex was feasting and all Maggie could do was hold on. Her first orgasm hit hard and fast forcing a shout from her throat and Maggie was almost disappointed it was over, until Alex, who had gentled her touch to coax her through the pleasure, quickly ratcheted up her efforts again.

After her fourth orgasm, Maggie finally had to say, “OK, OK, you’re going to kill me.”

Alex laughed triumphantly, sitting up and yanking off her shirt and wiping her face with it. It was the hottest thing Maggie had ever seen.

“Come kiss me,” Maggie demanded reaching for Alex.

The kisses were surprisingly soft. And so perfect.

Alex pulled back after a while, putting her forehead against Maggie’s, “I love you so much,” her voice shook with emotion.

Tears leaked out of the corners of Maggie's eyes, “I love you.”

After several minutes of soft kisses and simply holding each other, Alex got up. Maggie sat up with her back against the wall and simply enjoyed the view of Alex moving around the apartment topless. Something she would never have done before.

Maggie laughed when Alex returned to the bed with two cartons of ice cream, one vegan, one decidedly not. Maggie had jokingly told Alex good sex should always be followed by ice cream and it had become a bit of a tradition.

“You’re pretty pleased with yourself, aren’t you?” Maggie noticed Alex couldn’t contain her cocky smirk.

“Yeah, I am.”

“When I’m not so wonderfully exhausted. I’m going to fuck that smirk off your face.”

Alex only smirked more, “I look forward to it.”

 

The End

 


End file.
